Some of the material on this page is included in my upcoming book: Love & Disdain.
Some love the title, others disdain the title. But isn't that title dissimilar to the realities of our lives?
"Inspiration knows not how to tell time. She comes when she wants."
Disdain -
I don’t listen to love songs
It’s blues I prefer.
Tales of endless passion
proclaimed in love songs
last only moments
before love goes wrong
Blues sooth the soul
for within those songs
emotions absorb sorrow
when love's gone wrong.
Blues reflect truth
heartache and pain
knives in the chest
love's been in vein
Inside the blues
harsh words define
betrayal and lies
that love is a crime.
It's love I reject
blues tell it right
no proclaimed glory
blues tell no lies
I don't listen to love songs,
It's blues I prefer.
___________
The Essence of Being
You opened your
being
You let me look in.
You exposed your
feelings,
You led me to think,
Your beauty is
deeper
than eyes will ever see.
I opened my
being
I let you look in.
I expressed my
feelings
You started to drink.
_________
Romance in Isolation -
Romance in isolation.
Kept hidden away.
The ideal way
to grow relationships
according to those
who practice this.
Eliminate the risk
of reporting
romantic failures
to friends and family,
to the President,
to Chairman Mao,
to the press.
Nobody will ever know
It was there.
The Romance that is.....
_________
Insane -
You said:
"I think I’ve gone insane."
I said:
"If this is insane
let me on your train"
You smiled.
Tonight
The moon is bright
The sky has light
The weather is right
For a midnight stroll
Through a graveyard
tonight.
___________
We cannot see our eyes,
yet with our eyes
we see everything.
We cannot touch our brain,
yet with our brain
we touch everything
_______
Hole in my soul -
Your eyes burned into my soul,
not all the way through,
just a tiny little hole.
Was it continuation
of days gone by,
or a new hole
just to satisfy?
Was it as deep
as the first hole had been?
Or only as deep
as the tip of a pin?
Matters not
the size the hole.
Matters that
You burned into my soul.
_________
Boredom -
We suffer from the same malady
my friend
We suffer greatly from a disease
invisible to most
Only those properly trained can see it
after they’re told what it is
We suffer from the great disease
therapists call depression
prescribing little pills
giving
the depressed
a smile
Fuck the clinical diagnosis.
You and me
my friend
we suffer greatly from something
much more simple
much less elegant,
Boredom.
____________
Death by Boredom -
Should you find me
dead
one fine morning
in my bed
write on my epithet
Death by Boredom
I despise the gray skies
that turn
My Drive
My Creativity
My Desire
to mush
like the gray inversion
within which exist
It comforts me
to lay in bed
under the warmth
of duck down feathers
trying to understand
matters of importance
whatever those may be
Should I get up?
Should I stay put?
Should I have coffee or
water to drink?
Should I drop acid?
Maybe a morning joint?
Thoughts of importance
.I question why?
Should those thoughts
have importance
pity me not
for I have died
that pitiful
unceremonious death
Death by Boredom
________
Winds of Desire -
I am a traveler
on a lonesome road
seeking the mother
of my children
still unborn
waiting
for the
winds of desire
abandoned long ago
to blow again
________
Dreams
There are messages
In our dreams
Take heed
of what we see
it forecasts
what could be happening
They give directives
to things
that change.
We never know
what’s to come,
but pay attention
to the dreams
they may tell us
the future;
they may warn us
of terror
that may be
lurking ahead;
they may advise us
of things
we left behind
that aren’t dead.
There are messages
of importance
There are movies
for fun
Pay attention
to your dreams
unless you have none
if that problem
can't be undone
stop taking
ambien.
When you wake
before you rise
there’s one matter
of importance:
Play the movies
in your head.
Nightmares
won’t be there,
they happen
during the day..
_________
Dawn reclaims day
As dawn reclaims the day
from night
the sky brings us
new light
________
Property Rights
You gave me your keys
I gave you my sperm
You asked for your keys
I asked for my sperm
I complied
You refused
You said it was yours
Claimed I'd had fun
Return in six months
Visit our son.
_______________
I chased love
Love chased me
Occasionally we
caught each other
who cares
who chased who.
________
Time to move on
I am unpleasantly calm
Coffee and jellied toast
Reading miserable poetry
written long ago
by the stranger
who was me
I am restless in my calm
is it time to move on?
it is time to move on.
_________
Sky orange red
The ground trembled
a deafening roar
Sky orange red.
Walls and trees tumbled
hot winds blew
across the land
without restraint
in all directions
radiating outward
delivering destruction
to all matter in their way.
Barren landscape
forever changed
because a man-child
is so deranged.
High in the sky
a red cloud appeared
radiating outward
like a mushroom it grows
attached to earth
by its hideous tail.
The orchestra plays.
Citizens cheer.
Soldiers at attention
gaze at their leader
high above them all
applauding and smiling
knowing the end will come
if not from within
from forces outside.
Kim Jung-un won’t tell them
there is no place to hide
from the radiation
from the bombs that will fall.
He’s not leaving alone.
He’s taking them all.
_________
Nothing is Clear
It’s four in the morning
It’s late in the year
Our souls come together
Yet nothing is clear
Not looking for lovers
That’s not it my dear
A good friend to help me
see what is not clear.
My body is callused
My mind so unclear
I reach out to touch
Yet it’s touch that I fear.
I reach now for guidance
As I try to steer
Through murky gray matter
Where nothing is clear.
It’s five in the morning
Still nothing seems clear
The chill of your body
Means daylight is near.
________
Tribute to Leonard Cohen
We’ve grown old together,
Forty-some years
since being acquainted.
We were young.
We had energy.
We were vibrant.
You were older,
but age mattered not.
Time propelled us forward.
Your books,
your mysterious lyrics,
survive all the years.
You’re still older,
much older than I.
but time matters not.
Your music
sooths my soul.
that will never grow old.
You know me not.
Yet, you I know
from books and songs.
We stand united.
Two artists,
slaves to our craft.
Leonard,
we’ve grown old together
__________
Copyright © 2007 - 2021 Raymond Cannefax. All right reserved.
And though
we live forever
It's only
a brief moment.
_________
Eternal Love
"My love is eternal"
I declared while
deliriously eyeing
the butt-cheeks
of the waitress
walking away
from our table.
_________
Change
We must change
every day
to prevent
being swept away.
__________
Midnight Stroll
The waning moon
reflects off
the blanket of snow
covering rooftops
and streets
make the time ideal
for a
midnight stroll
_________
Life or Death
I get hyperactive
run in circles
Don't know what to do
how to resolve issues
can't deal with problems.
It's no different
than when lost
in a forest.
Those who survive
become hyperactive
run in circles
look for a way out
out of the forest.
Those not hyperactive
those who can't do that
lay down
and die.
Hyperactivity
ADD
HDAD
whatever it's called
is a necessity
for survival
and life to carry on.
___________
It is a long trail
down which we've come
There's a long way to go.
It is a long trail
to the new home
we hope to find
Nothing for us
but highways and time.
It is a long trail
down which we must go..
____________
Colors -
Lavender the fragrance
you bring to the room.
Turquoise sweater
your figure defines.
White pearls emphasize
your neck so soft and smooth.
Translucent blue eyes
you open to draw me in.
Soft supple lips you use
to mesmerize.
Golden the glow
you radiate into the Universe.
Forgiveness -
I never asked forgiveness
for the wrongs I have done
except from one
I never thought myself
as being God's son
Confession and communion
helped me none
But there is one
from whom
I plead forgiveness
for the wrong I have done.
It won’t come easy
May not come at all.
If that is the case,
I will take the fall.
If not forgiven
for the wrongs
that I have done
to that one
I pray time
will allow
that wrong
to be undone.
______________
Siblings
I have no siblings
Once there were two
Such things happen
When I get screwed
Kinship and blood
Matter not much
When to siblings
It’s my dollars they touch
Death of a parent
Begins the dance
Dollars like sugar
Eaten by sibling ants
I have no siblings
Once there were two
Their memories erased
When I got screwed.
__________
It Calls
When I was young
the sea called to me
sailboats and surf boards.
keeping me same.
Now as I've aged
deserts calls my name
red bluffs and sun
keeping me sane.
__________
Forgiving fear -
To those in whom
I instilled fear
I ask forgiveness
for my actions
that inflicted pain
More than that
I ask for the love
that once was there
to be cleansed
of that horrid stain
that stain of pain.
Storms did roar -
You opened the door,
soothing breezes were there.
I stepped through the door,
warm winds began to blow.
We took the hinges of the door,
desert storms for us did roar.
______________
Once Red now Gray -
Once she was red
Now she is gray
Provides a reason
For me to stay.
Though not as young
She loves to play
Inside and out
Together we stay.
Relive our youth
Unable to do
Active we are
We're in the groove.
_________________